I'm over human interaction.
It's almost one and I don't want to sleep.
I want to go out and drive and find someone as lost as me.
I keep thinking of all the places I could go this late/early, but they're pretty limited to gas stations, wal-mart supercenters and kroger.
I wish there was some twenty-four hour drug warehouse next door or something. It's funny how much I try to say it's not an escape when all I can think is "This would be so much easier if I were high."
I talked to Jerrod about hooking me up. He said he'd be in the parking lot waiting for me after I got off of work. He wasn't there. Of course. Andy and I drove around smoking and listening to Jay Z and Peaches, then I got tired of him and dropped him off. Next, I went to Shell to get a pack of smokes. Jerrod comes in. I give him a dirty look and he gets behind me in line and, of course, starts yakking. His voice and vocabulary makes me laugh for days and days. I want to record it and let everyone hear it. He talked forever about how drunk he is and the cops and about how this kid beat up another kid.
I just wanted to grab him by his shoulders and scream in his face..
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE! JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN DRUGS AND DON'T TALK!"
Instead I nodded and touched his arm and acted like a stupid girl. It's funny how sometimes he's so ugly to me and then other times I just really want to dry hump him. I think the only reason why I like him is of course, thew drugs and the fact that his dad is a stone cold fox. MMMM. I masturbate to mental pictures of his dad. I keep thinking the sexy gene will kick in and he'll stop looking like such a seventeen year old boy. Oh... wait, he is. But maybe it's the fact that he's tan, and tall and hairless. Plus he's american indian too, so we're like family or something.
Ugh. I hate myself today. Really. I'm just like digusted with myself.
Maybe not digusted, just kind of annoyed. Because I'm feel foolish and childish.
Possibly because I am.