Lindsey (voglio_cambiare) wrote,
Lindsey
voglio_cambiare

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Jesus.

Somone tried to "save my soul" yesterday.
Jeff, a younger coworker of mine, seems to think that I'm going to hell unless he saves me. At first I was kind of shocked. I mean, I do my fair share of illegal activites, but I'm not a bad person. I'll generally go out of my way to help others, I donate and I care. So then why do I feel bad now? I guess I feel bad because I have no faith.
I won't believe in anything because it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel geninue. It feels forced and false and I don't want to live my life that way.

But lately I've been such a bitch. I've been taking my terrible mood out on everyone else and it's not fair at all. I don't know how to balance myself. I was never one for moderation. So I've decided I want to do more. Do more for myself. Do more for others. Do something.

I want to find something to believe in.
I really want to "find myself" [whatever that means] because I'm really tired of this identity-crisis bullshit. I've had many conversations with Alex about how all this finding yourself buisness is bullshit. No one ever really finds out who they are until it's too late. We're constantly learning about ourselves. But, I'd like to have a clearer picture of who the fuck I am.
I'm tired of feeling lost.

I sound like I'm about to join a cult.
Maybe I will.
No, you're right. I probably won't.

Aqualung's Strange and Beautiful is probably the best cd I've ever heard.
I can't stop listening to it.
It feels perfect for my mood, for the the weather, for this place.


i watch the sun
see it rise and fall
waiting for something to change
i get through the day
hope to turn things around
seems like

i'm falling out of love

feeling alone
with you by my side
further and further away
funny how long
a moment can seem
when you're trying to hold on
feels like

i'm falling out of love
-Falling Out of Love




I'm tongue tied
waiting
hoping
and praying
lying
beside you
longing
to touch you

but this feels like the end

so tired
we are
drifting
too far
eyes closed
tightly
thinking
there might be
some way

but this feels like the end

what went wrong
I need to know
I can feel
You're letting go
Though there is
so much to say
I'm tongue tied
tongue tied
waiting

I'm tongue tied
waiting
hoping
and praying
so near
yet so far
alone
together

still this feels like the end
still this feels like the end
still this feelslike the end
feels like the end
-Tounge Tied
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I loathe when people try to save you. All relgion resembles a cult to me and no one can mind their own buisness and accept that everyone has different beliefs.
I find it very violating in a sense.
Please don't join a cult. Hahaha.